On April 17, 2017, my dad passed away pretty suddenly.

It was the absolute worst day of my life.

Today is the 5 year mark.

I’ve realized over time what a strange thing grief is.

In the beginning, it hit me every second. Every millisecond.

I was drowning in grief 24×7.

Over time, it becomes less all-consuming.

Thankfully.

And for me, the fun memories and stories started to take over as the memories.

There is less memory of those last couple of horrible weeks and the subsequent weeks and months which were among the most trying I’ve personally ever experienced trying to be strong for the family and also running and ultimately selling my father’s business while also trying to run and grow CB Insights.

Note: The business and the people of Atlas (my father’s company) are all doing well and thriving post-acquisition.

But the grief still hits randomly and when it does, it hits hard.

I’m most surprised by the randomness of it.

It’ll hit when I:

• Am watching a movie and there is a hospital scene with a parent. TBH, any type of hospital scene gets the water works going.
• See a Hindi movie with last rites ceremonies.
• Watch a kid with their grandfather as it gets me thinking about the memories my kids won’t have as a result of their grandfather not being around.

So it’s incredibly random but not all consuming like it used to be.

The best metaphor I’ve heard about how grief works is the ball and box analogy which Lauren Herschel conveyed on Twitter.

I thought it beautifully and simply captured how grief works.

Anyways, can’t believe it’s been 5 years.

Still think of you every day Dad.

I miss you and love you.