I was talking to a really successful head of sales at a company that he had built the sales organization from 3 to many before the company exited for over $500 million.

And our conversation veered into the philosophical briefly and he asked what motivated me. Although I don’t know him well, I said the truthful answer which is fear and specifically a fear of failure.

It’s why losses hit me much harder. It’s also why wins don’t impact me much. It’s because I’m already obsessing on the next thing and whether we will lose that.

Yes – I know this is probably not a healthy way to live but that fear or chip on my shoulder has been there for a while so I’m not sure I can will it to go away.

I am trying to do a better job because it’s important when building an organization that I provide an objective view into how things are going and not always paint a view that is biased by my personality quirks. It’s also important we highlight the wins – something that has been on of my biggest startup mistakes.

So 2015 will be focused on many things and 1 will be trying to celebrate the wins.

Now I gotta go figure out how we are gonna hit this January revenue target.